I have kept myself busy all week, tried not to think about it (except every time I go to the barn) and I have not talked about it (except to Chelsea...once)...I have written my blogs and tried to sound upbeat...but today it is bothering me. Yes, Junah. I had high hopes for him. I guess I have high hopes for every horse we take in...but this one was right up my alley...tall, bay, handsome...TB...everything I look for in a horse. Have you had a look at my horses? All bay, all geldings, all
17H or more...I must be looking for something in some sort of kharmic way...over and over again I chose the bay gelding.
you know how sometimes you think about one thing and that thing leads you to another?
Ending a horse's life is a big deal to me and I wrestle with the right and wrong of it. On some levels, I hate to be the decision maker on whether something lives or dies.
But on another level, I feel that "someone' has to do and decide the right and rational thing.
Life effects life. Think about it.
Compassion is our only true recourse...especially if you believe in kharma and probably even if you don't...I am not sure that I believe in kharma...but I like some of the philosophy...(I love the word philosophy)...say it out loud a couple of times!...anyway...If I know that my actions cause or bring pain, and those actions, in return, come full circle back to me and affect my own happiness or well being...wouldn't I then I find myself more careful in both my word/deed/actions? Well, you would hope so...wouldn't you? Wouldn't that help us all?
Anyway, I am sort of rambling and feeling a little melancholy...I like to think of myself as being compassionate and simply passionate about things I love....and I think most people would tell you I was.....particularly with animals. I often get asked why I do horse rescue.....and I always reply I love horses but it is more than that with most of us who do this.....we get something from it that we need.....the ability to nurture, fix, love, help....however you may describe it.
I told someone yesterday that the rescue helps needy horses and needy souls...people's souls...everyone should get something from it...it isn't just the horses...A volunteer feels needed or has the ability to give something to someone or something...or a volunteer is a young person who has the opportunity to learn something new or make new friends...or a volunteer is a lonely older person who feels suddenly needed/wanted/useful...we like to help those people too...and they are helping us in return. Rescue is a huge labor of love...I feel like I have gotten the best present in the world when I see a horse who has come through the wringer, into our hands and comes back to life before our very eyes. It is one of the best feelings in the world to me. I want to pass it on to others.
I love that starfish story...I don't remember all the words...but essentially it goes...there is a man is walking the beach at low tide and there are thousands upon thousands of starfish laying stranded on the beach and the sun is high in the sky...he is walking the beach slowly, picking up a starfish at a time and throwing them back into the sea...a second man walks up and says "what are you doing?"...
the first man replies "throwing these stranded starfish back into the sea"...
the second man says "but there are thousands of them, what difference does it make...you can't save them all"
the first man replies, "It makes a difference to this one" and he throws one more into the sea...
That story is powerful to me, I hope it is to you.